![]() Frickin Nutballs Secret Headquarters "Once again you can never underestimate how stupid humans can get once you massively promote another 'big lie', " stated the Chief Nutball of Nutballs (CNN). "I didn't think it would work. How could the Herd be so idiotic?" said Chief of European Nutballs. He was the newest member of the Frickin Nutball World Leadership Council. And he didn't quite understand the protocols at this level of hierarchy. He did not know his peril. The CNN gave the new guy a deep disdainful glare which froze all the Frickin Nutballs in their chairs. You didn't ask rhetorical questions to the CNN. "Of course it worked," he hissed. "The Big Lie always works!" He continued to glare at all of them. He only stopped when he saw a quiver from the new chief of Europe. "There is good reason to control all the media outlets. If you repeat the BIG LIE enough times from enough mainstream outlets, INsanity becomes the TRUTH!" The CNN burst into a mad laughter that all the chiefs cackled along with too, fearing instant death if they didn't. The CNN had the will and the power and the magic buttons right before him to vaporize any continental Chief Nutball that disagreed with him...or even looked at him wrong. Fear of this occurrence kept him at the top. Each Chief Nutball had the same priviledge when they were with their own underlings. That was the way it was down the whole hierarchy. It guaranteed tight cohesion in the ranks. If you want to spread terror outside your organization, you must have it well ordered in your own organization was the implicit cultural norm that all Frickin Nutballs had grown up with all their lives. "When do we impose martial law across the world?" asked the Asian Chief Nutball. All the Nutballs got very excited to hear the answer to this question. They peered collectively at their leader. "When.... They all edged forward in their seats. "I..." Their eyes collectively bulged. "SAY SO!" His hand poised above the row of 7 buttons in front of him. They gasped together. "That is all for now, " he quietly ended with. "We all have preparations to get them ready for the 2nd lockdown. Return to your hideouts. The real fun is about to start! Meeting adjourned." ---------------------------------------¥----------------------------- Planetary Guardians Mobile Command Center (Canadian: BC Division) --------------------------------------¥------------------------------- Captain Sweep was sipping his mocha and puffing on his very badly rolled joint First officer Kyle needed clarification as usual. "Is a Butt In really that different from a Takeover?" he asked. He was referring to the infamous conversational killers. Captain Sweep had long ago codified all the ways that humans killed conversations. "A very good question." Sweep took a big sip of his mocha. It wasnt extra hot anymore. He scowled. "Most Takeovers start with a Butt In, but dont necessarily lead to the Takeover. So they need to be distinguished." Sweep felt that he had yet again passed on a massive kernel of wisdom but was quite sure First Officer Kyle had completely missed the point as he often did. Sweep looked to see what registered on Kyle's face. IT started with a glint of understanding but led to a furrowing of the brow. Another question was coming. Sweep could see Kyle was trapped in the Gene Key 23 shadow of complexity, as usual. "Let's say someone starts with the Takeover, implying the Butt in? asked Kyle. Wouldn't that make the Butt In redundant?" Sweep hated multiple questions after he had made a brilliant point. He liked to spend some time in the afterglow of his own wisdom. "No no, no. You've missed the point completely. So far off I cant imagine that you even consider yourself a Planetary Guardian." "Are you shaming me, Sir?" A tear rolled down Kyle's eye. He could be quite sensitive to Sweeps excessive use of all of the conversational killers he had so cleverly categorized (based upon his own self- analysis). "Of course not, you Idiot. Now go get me today's intelligence report," barked Captan Sweep. Quite a few things irritated Captain Sweep but not much more than early morning attempts at INSTRUCTIONSAL CONVOS. Especially with Kyle. Pearl's before twine it felt like. It's like he never gets what I lay down. He took another puff of his wake n bake. His request for the intelligence report completely forgotten. As it was for Kyle as well. Hard to say who forgot first. It was a usual pattern between them, each having a very low attention span. It created some problems in the organization but people worked around it. The dynamic team achieved extraordinary results in their own magical way, the other super heroes just flowed with it. They had learned that magic was beyond the minds interpretations and planning and so much of what people said was pure illusion without real understanding. And Sweep had so many unconscious sub personalities it wasnt actually low attention span, just different parts of him fighting for the conscious awareness slot. Kyle had forgotten the whole conversation getting very interested in his blaster's firing mechanism. He started to blast off nerf bullets all through the RV at imaginary bad guys. Sweep casually raised an eyebrow and wondered what it would take to commit Kyle to either a mental hospital or a fake mission but quickly saw it was too much work and slapped him in the head instead. "There is a planet to takeover, let's get to work!" And immediately went to go meditate in the forest.
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